domingo, 1 de julio de 2012

Not going, not paying, not wasting my time.

At some point there is a bunch of movie releases that make me want to stay home. Why? Because, in my opinion, the most important thing on movies are good plots, then it comes how it's presented, acted, directed, and all that jazz. So, if the plot is just plain dumb or "been there, done that", I pass.

This weekend we had Ted, Magic Mike and Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection, along with People Like Us, but that one I will go see it soon. As I mentioned before, I use common sense and intelligence (yes, they are not the same and they do not come together on most people), with a hint of emotions, to review/talk about films; and even if I'd watch almost anything at a movie theater, I'd not waste my time on certain films.

This is what I have to say about the first 3 films I mentioned (which I won't be paying to see or wasting my free tickets on):

Ted: Smells like Seth McFarlane rubbed his no-no parts all over the place in that movie. Yes, I used to like Family Guy and American Dad, but in the past two years the poor guy has proven that he's running out of funny ideas and the only thing left is to recycle those ideas with a lame-o twist on it to try really, really hard to make you laugh but failing miserably. That makes me very skeptical about how funny this film could be.
So far, I can see some people would like it, and even love it, but here's a thing: they are die-hard Family Guy fans who offer no questioning or judgement to the show and would like ANYTHING on it and consider it funny, although it really isn't any more. Just like the Twilight fans, but this is the McFarlane version, both are stupid and worthless but their fans would die defending them. To each their own.
I pass on this film because not even the previews are funny. A teddy bear made with cheap-ass CGI, who hires whores and gets drunk, whose best friend is a 40 y/o child dating Mila Kunis who dislikes the badly animated bear's behavior and influence on her bf.
I bet one of the endings is: He stays in, he shows the chick how to enjoy life and pull that stick out of her butt; and they live happily ever after. Version 2 could be: Ted moves out, grows up a little, shows the chick to enjoy life, then move back in and they all learn a lesson, also live happily ever after. Version 3: He goes back to be a regular teddy bear. Version 4: Ted's remains the same, Mila and Mark get married and have a baby, that leads to the sequel being about Ted's version of 'The Sitter'.
Either way, I'm saving my money for something that's worth it.
I'll probably watch it when it's out on HBO.
Cheers for the overrated reviews!

Magic Mike: We've seen it sooooo many times. Hot, shallow guy falls for smart, average looking girl, because she has this awesome personality but, not just that, she also has doubts on the intentions of hot guy, since he's shallow and all... NEXT!
I mean, really, there is not much going on there, except, if you are a girl, there is a LOT of eye candy, but that is not enough for me. Anyway, I think guys will get their share of fan service, so if that's what it takes for the world, go for it. It's just the same bad plot, and I highly doubt it has any twists to make it really interesting and worth paying to watch.

I'd rather watch porn.

Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection: If I seriously have to go into details on this one to tell you why is not worth watching, and even less paying for it; you must have some severe mental issues. It didn't work for Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence (not in the long run), what makes you think it'll work for you? Silly boy.

Oh, no, you didn't!

Ok, I'm now heading to the movies to watch anything but these 3 films!

Skadi ~

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